Sitting out on the porch

I have no idea where to start. So much has happened, so much has changed since I wrote last... maybe the point isnt to record every single thing though. For starters, I had a fantastic birthday. I had no plans for the night of the 3rd, it being a Tuesday night and all. We had work that day from about 10-5 (team was on the road), and at 4:30pm the VP comes into our office and gathers us around. "I hate to do this to you guys, but I've got a task, and you're not going to like it. I need 4 volunteers." Everyone shifted from foot to foot for a few seconds, because we were so close to being able to leave for the night, and someone asked how long it would take. "It'll take about 3 hours.. but you'll have to wait awhile for it to start." More hesitation from all of us, but I like the VP a lot and figured that I didnt have anything else going on anyhow. I volunteered, and after another long unhappy pause a few others finally offered their time as well. "Great... you guys are going to the Red Sox game tonight!" WOOHOO!! Talk about 0-60 in remarkable time... all of a sudden my birthday stood a chance at being celebrated after all. The tickets were his friend's season tickets in row 2 of Grandstand 16 (in line with Red Sox on deck circle more or less) and after I picked them up across town, I headed to Fenway. Traffic was terrible and after parking at Roshan's and walking to the ballpark it was the middle of the 1st. Great game!! I made a bee-line for the bullpen and ended up finding a handicap seat in my favorite spot, right over where Mani (bullpen catcher) keeps his glove. Awesome view of the field. I ended up getting myself on NESN somehow ... THREE TIMES. How many games did it take me?! But there it is. And there I was.

after Lowell's hr

a recap of Lowell's hr shown later in the game

just before Papelbon's last pitch. I was shouting something like here we go Cinco Ocho!

[there's a party happening down the street here, and Dont Stop Believing is now being followed by Sweet Caroline.]

So, pretty sweet huh? There was a bench clearing brawl and we won in the end. After the game Mani gave me a ball. Also pretty sweet. We dont really know each other but I think we are on friendly enough terms. I sit right there whenever I'm at a game, which was quiiiiiiite a bit last year. We've talked a few times. Nice enough fellow. All in all the game was a success and then some.

I got to spend some quality time with the McClellan side of my family. First family reunion!! Very fun. I love them all. Great getting to catch up with my cousins and actually getting to know their kids too. A beautiful smiley bunch of kiddos. I wish I had been able to stay longer, but such is life, and that's OK. I'm blessed to have loving family on all sides of me. Got to speak with my Grandma today and that woman blesses me with every card she sends and ever anecdote she tells. I dont know what I'd do without her, I love her so much.

Work is still such a good thing. Still enjoying the people there, still getting things done, still learning. Starting to think about what happens come September. My friend Jeff, who was picked up by the Rox in mid-July, got released yesterday after a pretty strong showcasing of himself over the past few weeks. Unfortunately he wasnt getting playing time everyday, but when he did he generally made the most of it. We were fast friends, pretty much from when we met while working at a baseball camp clinic at the stadium, and I felt the sting of how abruptly things can shift in this business. Everything happened so fast yesterday... he wanted his walkup music changed and texted me to meet him so he could give me a file of the song... and by the time I got to him a handful of minutes later, he had been released. By the time another hour and a half had gone by I had helped him pack all of his belongings into his Jeep, and by the time gates opened at the park he was headed out of state. My head was spinning just a little bit, but the show must go on, and I spent that night- our busiest night of the season to date- monitoring a prize wheel game and wearing a smile that hurt my jaw. No rest for the weary, though, because 5 of us were staying overnight at Campanelli to chaperon Boy Scout Sleep Over night. 600 people. "UP!" was shown on the video board, and I got a very restless few hours of sleep on the floor of a suite. Sort of a traumatic day, not a lot of time for emotion or processing. Something that has helped me deal with the relationships I've been a part of this summer is the realization that they are potentially extremely fleeting. It's counter-intuitive to a personality like mine to think this way, and it doesnt mean that I dont still strive to treat everyone I come into contact with with respect, but it helps me to keep from excessive people-pleasing. I probably wont see Jeff again, even if he does come back to Brockton to play next year, because there's a great chance that I wont be with the Rox. I will take a baseball gig but have no idea which gig - or where - that will be. It's similar with the people I work with- I always want everyone to like me, but in the end, my lifestyle is a lot different. And that's ok, even if people think I'm lame or no fun because of it. (Though I feel like we all accept each other pretty well, for the most part. )

Anyhow, as it always is, I felt a lot less angsty when I woke up this morning. For one thing, I awoke (albeit at 5:50am) to a text from Ally telling me that Layla Mae was born that evening (she's in NZ, evening for her)!!! Also Ally's birthday. Big day!! That's child number two for her. So the AM started off with some joy. After getting all the scouts out of the park, we dispersed and I headed to Cambridge to get a little bit of sleep. Rest was short-lived, as I had things to do and places to be... Mehdi's wedding was this afternoon at the Vineyard! Lovely ceremony, and I got to spend it with lovely Jayne. Unfortunately the reception was moved from 5pm to 6:30pm, which I only discovered when I got to the wedding ceremony, and as I had committed to work later that evening... well, at least I got to be there to see him get married, even if I couldn't party with them afterwards. The game went so quickly... after a couple of key conversations with Linc and Maxine (Reyes' great great aunt... will get to that in a bit) it was pretty much over. After a little bit of implosion on our starter's part, we won it 6-4 (vs Pittsfield).

Jumping back in time, I'll mention another person who has been a fun part of my summer. His name is Reyes and he's 11- came to visit his great great aunt Maxine for a month all the way from Colorado. At first, it was basic recognition, seeing him every day at the game. Then, we interacted during a between-innings competition, and from that point on he was my little buddy. What a kindhearted kid. He would sneak me little pieces of fried dough (despite many many protests on how illegal that kind of thing is for me... no eating on the job!), he came to one of the baseball camps that I helped with (i love those camps. working with the Rox's base coach Dan is a joy, he is one of the great encouragers that I've encountered this summer; he and Jack in particular feed energy and encouragement into me; hanging with the kids and getting to play baseball all morning with the kids and some Rox players is just as much of a perk), and a couple days ago he sent me a birthday card even though he had already left to go back to CO. Sweet kid. I still have Maxine around who is another amazing soul, and who made sure my birthday got announced during the game on the 2nd (i missed the announcement and the slide on the video board! but totally the thought that counts in this case).

Cant wait for the team's series in Worcester this week. I better get some time off! But even if I dont, I could get to the games after work is through for the day... just a lot of driving on a deadline. Tomorrow I'm going with Dom to see Jean, who runs chapel time for the players, speak at his church. Should be awesome. Jean gets going when he only has 10-15 min.. cant wait to see what he does with a primetime slot :)

I've gotta end this here... need some sleep. Right now, I'm content. I've got everyone I love actively in my life, even if some of you are farther away than others (Old Town... Raymond... Yarmouth... Virginia... New Zealand). I look forward to getting to Brockton every morning, and hate when the team is away because I miss the guys and I miss the fans. My friends from before this summer still love me and are hangin in there till I can get some sort of rhythm to my daily schedule (yeah, I've got some great friends). God is good, and that one never changes. Cant wait to see what's coming in the next two months.

weekend OFF

I forget that people who work typical jobs get two days off each week. I've had a lot of time off lately, just because the team has been on the road and they've been trying to recharge us all while it's possible. The Rox played their half-way mark game on Saturday, so we've got a good 47 left! They were out of town on Friday but we hosted the Cranberry League All Stars. They got through 5 innings just in time for the sky to open up... we were drenched in seconds. We had to pull the tarp, but it was raining so hard and we were split staffed so we didnt even get it all the way onto the field. So close. Thankfully a few of the players got a clue and came out to help us, albeit a little late. Soon thereafter the game was called but we ended up taking the tarp off the field so that we'd not have to get up early to come in and take it off the next morning. I cant explain to you how heavy a tarp with a lake on it is. You pull and pull on the tarp and your leg muscles burn like they're going to give way by about 3/4ths of the way during the first crossing of the field. I have a lot of fun doing it but there is definitely pain involved. Finally, we got the tarp rolled off the field and got a quick pick-up done with. SOAKED. we were all soaked. I was thankful to have extra clothes for the ride home.

When I awoke the next morning, I had no idea as to what I would be doing for the first of my two days off. Showering was a must so I had time to consider whether I'd go to a Scottish festival with my friend Heather, see Inception, go to a Spinners game, take a walk around Cambridge and Boston, go to the beach...... it was a pretty low key day up until 2:30pm when I was checking facebook only to discover that the softball team I've been a part of for the past couple years- The Juice- was playing in Boston at 3! I immediately got up and walked out the door, headed to the T Station, and go to the Boston Commons in time to watch The Juice bring home a win. My great friend Dave pitched a 3 pitch inning... pretty sweet. As I was sitting on the bench I learned that a bunch of them would be taking advantage of a Suite at Fenway that very night... and they had one extra ticket! 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

saw petey!! (center of the pic, right next to the camera)

Happiest night. So I went to Fenway that night, after making a quick stop at Dave and Rachel's house for pizza with some of The Juice. I got to spend that warm summer evening with Jayne (church/Juice friend extraordinare- saw her when I was in LA), Dave (we used to live in the same house in Somerville, close friend), and Rachel (Dave's wife) among others. Beautiful friends.

 I had missed Fenway so much... almost as much as I had missed the friends I havent really had a lot of time to be around lately. They're incredible people. I miss their consistent presences in my life. They're people I can look up to, people who care about each other and this city and our world. People who care about me even though I've been MIA. Not once did I feel cut down or discouraged this weekend by something that someone said or did. It was entirely refreshing. It's encouraging just knowing that they're out there still. And hey, like I've written, I know some quality people in the Rox organization. I'm really just glad to have had such a memorable day with friends who will still hang out with me once the summer is over with :)

The game was a ton of fun by the way. We won 3-2 in extra innings (11). Always fun to get a little extra baseball in. Lackey vs Lee, who pitched a complete game. Rangers took the other two games in the series, so I'm glad I got to witness the win :) Youk was the man of the hour.

Sunday afternoon came very quickly. Church was a blur, and then I was driving to meet Robin somewhere in York. She treated me to lunch at Stonewall Kitchen (all i can say is wow.. that place... huge and yummy-smelling) and we hit the beach for about 3 hours. Quality time is definitely my love language so even the basic gesture of her coming to hang out with me meant a lot. We talked, prayed, killed little jumping spiders, and I got reaaallly sunburnt:

(even my eyes are red... hopefully thats just tiredness and not an effect from too much sun exposure)

...yeah. i'm using an icepack on my legs right now.

Basically, it was another stellar day. I really made good use of my time off this weekend. Ready to get back at it! We've got three home games starting tomorrow, then they're gone for a week, then it gets a little busier. Right around the time my dad's side of the family is having its reunion. And right around the time Mehdi is getting married. Oh well. When it rains, it pours.

PS, Dusty Brown got called up to the Red Sox last night. Michael Bowden got called up today. Both have already seen some playing time. AWESOME times. Let's see what happens....

Happy that things are in full swing again. Really, I am.

MLB.TV has been horrible. I havent been able to get the site to allow me to access games. Thankfully, someone pointed me in the direction of a video client called Boxee, by way of which i can channel the MLB.TV feed to watch. However... I miss out on all of the cool things that I'm paying for, like fantasy baseball player stat tracking, a live in-game twitter feed showing everyone who's watching and talking about the game I'm watching, and the option of having up to 4 games open at once. I splashed out for the Premium package (which, when broken down, is worth the splash) and so far I havent been able to take advantage of all of the REGULAR PACKAGE's features. I've spent about 4 hours on the phone with dimwitted (truly, dimwitted) customer service reps. And I'm not the only one experiencing this issue. It's a joke, and it's robbery.

Alright, enough of that. Today was the first day that I really questioned what it is that I thought I was doing in moving here. I'm sure this frenzied panic I'm feeling at the start of this baseball season will subside, will dull. Ugh, i dont want it to.. I like strong emotion, I think it's a good thing, that it tells us about ourselves. But as long as I feel this way, I feel like I'm lacking objective perspective. Have I been like this for the past 2 years? Because if i have, then I think that's something I should explore further. If those of you who would know would say that this baseball thing has come in concentrated fits of passion, well, then I'll wait for it to cool off and have faith that it will; that it'll feel ok soon enough.
The Paw Sox season started today. I listened to the broadcast- Paw Sox blew Rochester away 11-3. I had emailed one of the voices of the Paw Sox, Steve Hyder, and to my delight, he read most of my message on-air. He read it so well. I had written it of course, but the way he spoke it made me laugh, made blood rush into my cheeks, sent a wave of warmth wooshing through me, and made me ache. It also made me feel like the Paw Sox missed me, too- as funny as that sounds. So, silly me, I sit here listening to a mix of songs that largely defined my baseball excursions last year (doesnt this just sound like a breakup? sitting on the floor against the wall with tissues and ice cream, putting on a mix cd of all your favorite songs that remind you of him or her..) ...Michael Bowden wrote on my Facebook wall this morning. I guess it's all just been a bit too much for me, everything this week. Fenway, Red Sox, McCoy, Paw Sox, players traded, fantasy teams picked, MLB.TV working and not working, Dodger Stadium being a let down, the game i'm going to tomorrow in Rancho Cucamonga... I've been watching baseball all day since I got MLB.TV. I watch starting at 10am, throughout work on and off, till I'm done for the night. It's so familiar. Someday when I miss home, and I feel like crying about it, I'll go to the MLB.TV archives and watch the beginning of the second Red Sox vs Yankees game. Before it started, they showed about 60 seconds of a view of Boston from a blimp or helicopter that was above Fenway. I could see the river, I could see up near Boston Common, and it was just stunning, my Boston. And then the views of Fenway during the games this week have been the most familiar thing I've experienced since I've been here. It's mesmerizing. I spent so much time in that place, in and out and under and through and all around it. I see security and field attendant friends and acquaintances on camera during the games. Every view evokes a memory. It's acute and it's overwhelming, overstimulating even.
I think I just realized today (not for the first time) that there are certain things that cant last. For instance, how long until Fenway isnt mine anymore- till half or more of the team I loved for the last 2 years is long gone, till the bullpen catcher Mani is no longer with the team, till Mike and Mike arent on the security team, till Dave isnt reselling tickets every game outside the park...? And I doubt that I'll ever again have the experience of sitting at McCoy with Victor, or Mehdi, trying to keep my eyes on the game while they sit beside me, updating me every few minutes on the progress of Michael Bowden's stares. Their reminders, in teasing and excited tones, always faux-annoyed me while giving me a sense of triumph. Of course, a great portion of Pawtucket's 2009 team has dispersed, so that certainly cant and didnt last, but that's how the Minors go. Still, I miss Charlie Zink and his knuckleball- watching him allowed me to experience the fascination of the knuckleball. I'd watch him warm up in the pen before his starts, could stand directly behind him or behind Dusty Brown, his catcher- and had a great view either way of how he gripped the ball, how he released it, how it traveled through the space between the mound and the plate.


Well. Clearly I just want to talk baseball. Reminisce.
Man do I miss the T. :)


Ok, some good things. Well, work is going just fine. Tomorrow I'm leaving home at 4 to get to Rancho Cucamonga for my first Quakes game. Scott Kazmir is slated to pitch as part of a rehab assignment (Kazmir is a pitcher I really like who has played for the Rays and now for the Angels in the last couple years). Very exciting. And, I imagine that my scorebook will arrive before I leave for the game- I had it shipped from Maine, haha- so I'll be all set, and it will feel good to hunker down at a minor league park and score the game. Maybe I'll fall in love with the Quakes. That would make life easier for me.

Last night Nadine took me to Louise's Trattoria. Lovely little Italian cafe. Guess what I had? "Cajun Jambalaya". Had a definite italian twist to it of course- and there was nothing that was recognizably Cajun about the dish. Still, it was stellar. Then we ended on an even higher note by splitting the largest square of tiramisu I'd ever seen served in a restaurant or elsewhere. It was perfect. Soft, light, fluffy-ish, and the non-cake parts were oh so smooth. Delightful meal.

This weekend I'll be attending a women's brunch in Westwood, put on by a church that I visited a few weeks ago. I figure that it'll be a good way to make friends in my area, even though I dont go to the church. That's Saturday AM... not sure what I have for the rest of the day. I'll definitely be outside at all costs, either at the beach, or hiking, or jogging (fancy that). I recently found a great site giving a solid list of free things to do in LA. Unlike with most lists of this sort, I found that this one had some really legit, interesting suggestions. Actually, not just some. The whole list is great. The plan is to check off everything. There are times where I've got nothing to do, but dont really know what to do to remedy that... well, now I've got some choices set out for me.
http://discoverlosangeles.com/play/activities-and-recreation/activities/free-things-to-do-in-los-angeles.jsp

Also, I havent checked this list out as extensively, but it too will be a source of inspiration I'm sure.
http://discoverlosangeles.com/play/activities-and-recreation/activities/100-free-things-to-do.jsp

Ok, ok, now I've worn myself out. Another beautiful day here in Los Angeles. My friend Tiffany comes in 2 weeks; my friend Jayne comes in about 3. My family+others come in June... maybe I can get Victor over here for the Angels/Red Sox series. I'm hoping to visit my cousin Mat up north, maybe next weekend even. Hardly a dull moment. Loving having a piano here, realizing that I should find a song to learn as I've been emoting solely through all the songs I already know. Time to add to the repertoire.

Good night Neverland.