Grey skies, and I can hear the clock ticking

Literally. It's so quiet in here that the clock is noisy in comparison. The subject line sounds metaphorical and I guess it could fit the situation too but ... it's just ... quiet.

...And the search continues.

Hopefully, tonight will consist of checking out a 2005 Honda Civic in Rancho. I'll find out if that's a go sometime in the next hour. It would be nice to have a car for the two interviews I have on Monday. (Yes, two.. one is for a more contract-like job doing data entry, which will bring in some money for the time being. It would be so easy to get myself into a long-term position that pays good $$ but doesnt have anything to do with what I came out here for... and after week 1, I'm not quite ready to give up on the dream :))

I feel sad if I let myself, but then and only then. My mom called today and I didnt have much to report in terms of news, and it (noticeably) bummed me out, but at least she had plenty of new info for me. I appreciated hearing it even if, for some reason, I wasnt able to be animated in my responses. 

I miss the Red Sox and the prospect of spending so many spring and summer evenings in Pawtucket (there's a lump in my throat as I type... I need to get a grip!) I could have been so happy working there for the rest of my life- if I could have found a substantive job. From my research, it seemed like permanent jobs are hard to come by in such a small organization. But the small-town feel of the park and the community... seeing all of those young (and sometimes not so young) minor leaguers come through, catching great major leaguers who are on rehab assignments... but it would be easier to get a job with the parent club than with the PawSox. Along this vein, I MISS the thought of Michael Bowden. And I miss Dustin Pedroia.

I wrote to my Grandma this weekend and got around to remembering to send it just yesterday. If she doesnt come visit this spring or summer I dont know how I'll make it till the holidays to see her again.

I listened to Claire de Lune today and it made me think of my brother, who bought me a musical Edward Cullen card for Valentines Day (it, of course, plays Claire de Lune when you open it). I miss his teasing Twilight references. I'm not a huge Twilight fan, but it has admittedly held some interesting points of inspiration for me over the past 4 months. Speaking of which, I think I would feel more balanced overall if I had a piano to play. I listen to these songs that I've learned and imagine how my fingers will be a little clumsy trying to find the right keys again. That's a point of worry for me- I get very frustrated with myself, like a mini volcanic eruption, heated and sudden, when I cant do something as well as I used to be able to.. or when I dont do it as well as I know I can.

What a silly thing to be anxious about, I know.

So far, I have been out of luck in my search for pre-made pizza dough (except for the pillsbury can kind). Unbelieveable. I've tried Stater Bros, Von's, Ralph's, and Trader Joe's. (I might expect this kind of shortfalling from the others, but never from you, Joe.) Also, have the Dodgers downgraded their team significantly? The only Dodger shirts that I've seen in stores (havent seen a single Dodgers or Angels shirt on anyone around here... so weird!) have Ramirez or Kemp on the back. What about the rest of the team? You can get any Red Sox player's name on a shirt straight out of any number of stores. I guess you have to customize Dodger shirts if you're anything but a Manny or Matt Kemp fan. (I fall into that category, by the way. Chad Billingsley!) I've got a couple fantasy leagues in the mix for this year, but have been too lazy to think about that stuff yet. It's almost March and so rosters for my keepers league will be due in a few weeks. I guess life has a way of going on whether you've been paying attention or not. The end of a baseball season leaves me standing on the brink of a gigantic chasm, where the next year's season is somewhere safe and sound on dry land across the distance, but I cant even see or imagine it. The "offseason" consists of a number of dark wintery months where I set about trying to pretend that I can genuinely amuse myself with all of the offseason happenings just as well as I can with actual games and season events. Grasping at straws. There's so little news, often, that I've already heard it all by the time my father, brother, and friends try to tell me about the latest happenings. I hope that living here- living away from Boston, living in a city where sports are important but compete with many other things for the population's affection- doesnt stop me from caring as deeply as I have and do. I'll always love the Red Sox. (I wish Ben Bronson could see me now.)

How's this sound- spinach and cucumber salad with raspberry and pecan dressing (fat free!yahoooo); two spoonfuls of avocado; bean soup. And water of course. I dont think I've mentioned it.. but my fast this Lenten season is in line with the bloodwater mission's 40 Days of Water. The idea is that the only beverage you drink for 40 days is water, and at the end of the 40 days you donate the money you would have spent on coffee, juice, soda, whatever, to the bloodwater mission. So far, so good.

Two more things: Jack Shepherd's son is a Red Sox fan! and... go to Bakerella's site for some creative SWEET ideas :)

Ready to have my own wheels.

Sunny and 75 today. Absolutely blissful.
Looked at another PROMISING car- so i have two that i'll probably end up choosing from, both 2001 Honda Accords. I also got an interview for an internship position with Red Varden Studios. They're a TV production company in LA. The guy who founded it seems like he has been around the biz quite a bit. www.redvarden.com if you're interested.

I ALLLLSO went shopping since my professional clothing options are pretty slim right now. I found the following, plus a leather portfolio, for $70!:

Green shirt..

Not what i'm wearing to any interview..

Need to sew a small hole...

Black shirt #1

My favorite of the two

Straightener! heels... and my first blowdryer.

Very light blue (hard to tell in this pic)

Olive Blazer

Pinstriped Blazer

Standard black pants, first thing i tried on... fit perfectly.

MY LUCKY DAY!!!

...I got this portfolio for $2. It's in great shape. So glad to have one.

I love Goodwill.

Off to call a car guy. Gotta get that good price.

what's new?

I havent written since Friday? Well. Saturday was a blast, riding around town with Tony. If we spent a whole day touring Boston, we'd have at least driven by everything. Not so here. We touched some of the west side of the city. Look at a map and you'll see that this is a very small portion of Los Angeles. The area I'll be living in is beautiful, especially compared to my general expectations of LA. Tony treated me VERY well. I met some of his friends, we ate at Islands and at a sushi place in the Valley. ...i almost tried sushi. Instead, I stuck with avocado rolls. I dont think that it'll be the raw fish thing that keeps me from liking sushi- it'll be the seaweed. Anyway, Saturday fueled my excitement at moving into the city.

Sunday was church (where Rob is the pastor; also met a guy who drives the bus for the Angels' local farm team), brunch (first omelet ever- mushrooms and spinach with salsa and avocado!!), and some car searching (fruitless but informative). Interestingly enough, Rob spoke about Zacchaeus as the first in a series similar to White Pine's "They Met Jesus" (parents' church in Maine). This series is called "Unstuck" and focuses on how Jesus "unstuck" these various people from different stumbling points in their lives. I liked the clear focus on Zacchaeus' repentance. Also pretty cool to imagine this small man who cant see over the crowd, who's widely despised by the people, and yet Jesus sees and addresses him specifically, and goes home for dinner with him.

Monday, Rob and Kathleen left for Phoenix for the week (through Saturday night). I'm the house manager right now :) I've been looking for cars, and have a good lead actually:

I've seen it a couple times, and now am waiting to hear a few maintenance details. Who knows. could be the one. Has a few small paint chips here and there but i'm not real concerned with that stuff. The car is generally pretty beautiful.. blue :)

I'm rewatching LOST right now (writing during commercials). Who's 108??? Kate, Aaron, Lapidus, Desmond? Oh and is it me or does the jungle look different to any one else? Not necessarily on purpose. Maybe just a continuity flaw. Like they're filming in a different location.
I will say that I'm done with these episodes that leave out half of the entire active cast. I cant take only seeing Ben and Richard every other week! That's asking a bit too much. But Hurley's sudden promotion to, like, main protagonist.. it's pretty cool.

Today... maybe i'll get myself a car! I've got another lead, similar to the pics above though a newer model and a brighter blue. It's warm out already. Time to giddy up. Opening day is getting closer!

ice dancing?

nothing too exciting today. i got out of the house for a while though, and spent about an hour in a park up the street (literally 'up'... it was half a mile climbing the sloping road up towards the mountains). the park was lovely. a nice little track surrounds a very green lawn. good-sized. a nice baseball field, some basketball courts, a playground, and a stunning mountain backdrop.

tomorrow i'm hitting LA with Tony Vine who has graciously agreed to come pick me up and then drive me in and show me what's what.  should be ... haha, overwhelming i'm sure. but a great chance to tour around LA with some purpose. we'll look at cars too. please Lord bless me with a car. (soon? :) )

how far behind the times am i? what the heck is ice dancing?! what happened to figure skating? they look the same to me! (ignorant)

well, it's after 9 and it definitely still feels like it's midnight. i am yawning every other minute. i owe my cousin a LOST recap. do i have it in me tonight? we'll see.

Flightless Bird

I slept for about 11 hours last night.. but woke up at 7am. you do the math! i'm pretty tired right now but i'm thinking that if i watch the last episode of Lost before i go to bed it might be an early start to getting in the swing of things here, timezone-wise. perhaps it's early to be thinking about trying to make that happen as i'm all of a day and a half off the plane, but i'm still up so i may as well make a run for it.

tonight Rob and Kathleen A., who i'm staying with in Rancho Cucamonga until i find a car, brought me into   LA to meet Nadine, who is Rob's mother and with whom i will be staying- again, once i find a car. LA is so, so, so big. It is incredibly large. It's one thing to know this and another thing to drive for ... shoot, i dont know how long, 30 minutes?.. through CITY via non-congested freeway. i wish i had the patience to explain exactly what i'm talking about- maybe once i move in to LA. right now i'm starting to think LOST. LOST. LOST.

anyhow, we hung around Nadine's house near Santa Monica. Her condo is 3br, 4bath! large. in a nice neighborhood off of a pretty major street. i smelled fresh grass today! it was a lovely experience to have in february. in someways, at least, i have the advantage in coming to LA from a place like Boston, or Maine.. i will probably never be cold for the rest of my time out here. actually, i take it back- i was cold today in the Gelson's cheese section (Gelson's is an upscale supermarket.)

Several people my age-ish came over to Nadine's for an Italian takeout dinner. Each of them were exceptionally wonderful to spend the evening with. Kate is Rob A.'s brother's daughter; Joanna and Emily are two with whom I had been emailing a bit (prior to my arrival); Andrew is Joanna's boyfriend; and Rob W. is Emily's long-time best friend. Everyone suggested a different church for me to visit :) of course. lots of choices. Kate is a LOST watcher. Emily, Kate, and I are in the market for a small group and will probably be searching together for a good one. Mmm, we had gelato for dessert. The party left me pretty exhausted on top of jet lag, but i'm so glad i had a chance to meet everyone. I have friends here :)

OH! NADINE HAS not one but TWO PIANOS!!! helllllllooooooo!

No songs in my head

it's 8pm here and i am so tired!

the ackers are wonderful, and there are mountains everywhere. also, i havent felt too cold or hot since boarding the plane in boston. i love that. i have no more energy after writing all of that... or at least i dont want to expend it here when i still have to make it to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then make it back to my bed.

Time for some zzzzzzz

The countdown is almost complete. I'll be up at 3:30am to get myself to Logan Airport and onto a 6am flight. There's a foot of snow outside- maybe more by now- and across the country LA is currently enjoying a 68degree night. I'm ready for that.

Tonight's episode of LOST was the best one in a long time.

See ya on the other side.. of the US.

Full Moon

When the thornbush turns white that's when I'll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don't know where I'll go
And I don't know what I'll see
But I'll try not to bring it back home with me

Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be
Cause all I want is here and now but its already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long

Far far away, no voices sounding, no one around me, and
you're still there
Far far away, no choices passing, no time confounds me, and you're still there

In the full moon's light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear you calling me
But I don't know where I am 
And I don't trust who I've been
And If I come home how will I ever leave