MLB.TV has been horrible. I havent been able to get the site to allow me to access games. Thankfully, someone pointed me in the direction of a video client called Boxee, by way of which i can channel the MLB.TV feed to watch. However... I miss out on all of the cool things that I'm paying for, like fantasy baseball player stat tracking, a live in-game twitter feed showing everyone who's watching and talking about the game I'm watching, and the option of having up to 4 games open at once. I splashed out for the Premium package (which, when broken down, is worth the splash) and so far I havent been able to take advantage of all of the REGULAR PACKAGE's features. I've spent about 4 hours on the phone with dimwitted (truly, dimwitted) customer service reps. And I'm not the only one experiencing this issue. It's a joke, and it's robbery.
Alright, enough of that. Today was the first day that I really questioned what it is that I thought I was doing in moving here. I'm sure this frenzied panic I'm feeling at the start of this baseball season will subside, will dull. Ugh, i dont want it to.. I like strong emotion, I think it's a good thing, that it tells us about ourselves. But as long as I feel this way, I feel like I'm lacking objective perspective. Have I been like this for the past 2 years? Because if i have, then I think that's something I should explore further. If those of you who would know would say that this baseball thing has come in concentrated fits of passion, well, then I'll wait for it to cool off and have faith that it will; that it'll feel ok soon enough.
The Paw Sox season started today. I listened to the broadcast- Paw Sox blew Rochester away 11-3. I had emailed one of the voices of the Paw Sox, Steve Hyder, and to my delight, he read most of my message on-air. He read it so well. I had written it of course, but the way he spoke it made me laugh, made blood rush into my cheeks, sent a wave of warmth wooshing through me, and made me ache. It also made me feel like the Paw Sox missed me, too- as funny as that sounds. So, silly me, I sit here listening to a mix of songs that largely defined my baseball excursions last year (doesnt this just sound like a breakup? sitting on the floor against the wall with tissues and ice cream, putting on a mix cd of all your favorite songs that remind you of him or her..) ...Michael Bowden wrote on my Facebook wall this morning. I guess it's all just been a bit too much for me, everything this week. Fenway, Red Sox, McCoy, Paw Sox, players traded, fantasy teams picked, MLB.TV working and not working, Dodger Stadium being a let down, the game i'm going to tomorrow in Rancho Cucamonga... I've been watching baseball all day since I got MLB.TV. I watch starting at 10am, throughout work on and off, till I'm done for the night. It's so familiar. Someday when I miss home, and I feel like crying about it, I'll go to the MLB.TV archives and watch the beginning of the second Red Sox vs Yankees game. Before it started, they showed about 60 seconds of a view of Boston from a blimp or helicopter that was above Fenway. I could see the river, I could see up near Boston Common, and it was just stunning, my Boston. And then the views of Fenway during the games this week have been the most familiar thing I've experienced since I've been here. It's mesmerizing. I spent so much time in that place, in and out and under and through and all around it. I see security and field attendant friends and acquaintances on camera during the games. Every view evokes a memory. It's acute and it's overwhelming, overstimulating even.
I think I just realized today (not for the first time) that there are certain things that cant last. For instance, how long until Fenway isnt mine anymore- till half or more of the team I loved for the last 2 years is long gone, till the bullpen catcher Mani is no longer with the team, till Mike and Mike arent on the security team, till Dave isnt reselling tickets every game outside the park...? And I doubt that I'll ever again have the experience of sitting at McCoy with Victor, or Mehdi, trying to keep my eyes on the game while they sit beside me, updating me every few minutes on the progress of Michael Bowden's stares. Their reminders, in teasing and excited tones, always faux-annoyed me while giving me a sense of triumph. Of course, a great portion of Pawtucket's 2009 team has dispersed, so that certainly cant and didnt last, but that's how the Minors go. Still, I miss Charlie Zink and his knuckleball- watching him allowed me to experience the fascination of the knuckleball. I'd watch him warm up in the pen before his starts, could stand directly behind him or behind Dusty Brown, his catcher- and had a great view either way of how he gripped the ball, how he released it, how it traveled through the space between the mound and the plate.
Well. Clearly I just want to talk baseball. Reminisce.
Man do I miss the T. :)
Ok, some good things. Well, work is going just fine. Tomorrow I'm leaving home at 4 to get to Rancho Cucamonga for my first Quakes game. Scott Kazmir is slated to pitch as part of a rehab assignment (Kazmir is a pitcher I really like who has played for the Rays and now for the Angels in the last couple years). Very exciting. And, I imagine that my scorebook will arrive before I leave for the game- I had it shipped from Maine, haha- so I'll be all set, and it will feel good to hunker down at a minor league park and score the game. Maybe I'll fall in love with the Quakes. That would make life easier for me.
Last night Nadine took me to Louise's Trattoria. Lovely little Italian cafe. Guess what I had? "Cajun Jambalaya". Had a definite italian twist to it of course- and there was nothing that was recognizably Cajun about the dish. Still, it was stellar. Then we ended on an even higher note by splitting the largest square of tiramisu I'd ever seen served in a restaurant or elsewhere. It was perfect. Soft, light, fluffy-ish, and the non-cake parts were oh so smooth. Delightful meal.
This weekend I'll be attending a women's brunch in Westwood, put on by a church that I visited a few weeks ago. I figure that it'll be a good way to make friends in my area, even though I dont go to the church. That's Saturday AM... not sure what I have for the rest of the day. I'll definitely be outside at all costs, either at the beach, or hiking, or jogging (fancy that). I recently found a great site giving a solid list of free things to do in LA. Unlike with most lists of this sort, I found that this one had some really legit, interesting suggestions. Actually, not just some. The whole list is great. The plan is to check off everything. There are times where I've got nothing to do, but dont really know what to do to remedy that... well, now I've got some choices set out for me.
http://discoverlosangeles.com/play/activities-and-recreation/activities/free-things-to-do-in-los-angeles.jsp
Also, I havent checked this list out as extensively, but it too will be a source of inspiration I'm sure.
http://discoverlosangeles.com/play/activities-and-recreation/activities/100-free-things-to-do.jsp
Ok, ok, now I've worn myself out. Another beautiful day here in Los Angeles. My friend Tiffany comes in 2 weeks; my friend Jayne comes in about 3. My family+others come in June... maybe I can get Victor over here for the Angels/Red Sox series. I'm hoping to visit my cousin Mat up north, maybe next weekend even. Hardly a dull moment. Loving having a piano here, realizing that I should find a song to learn as I've been emoting solely through all the songs I already know. Time to add to the repertoire.
Good night Neverland.
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