You dont say good luck, you say dont give up, It's the fire, inside you

Boston was beautiful today. No clouds overhead, every color the richest and brightest that it could naturally be in the afternoon sunlight. Blue blue sky, brick buildings towering around me, the green of living trees everywhere in between. I even got to say hello to Louie, who happened to be riding his trike at a crawl through the Boston Gardens. Dinner was Boloco............. which was freeeee........... so I went out to get some frozen yogurt, which is my favorite though I never have it anymore.

I've got a few interesting stories this time around. I work hard, but living is pleasantly effortless in some ways these days. I've made surface friends, and now I'm starting to enjoy getting to know these people- and letting them know me.

Seems like I've settled into a good reputation with people at the Rox. I've gotten a number of comments from some "important people" (everyone's important... but in the hierarchy of the organization) about how I'm noticed. I was speaking with someone the other day, and teasingly said something like "I'm just an intern" and he immediately interjected "No you're not. You're a lot more than that and you know it. I see you running around this place working your tail off.." and that's the one that has stuck with me. But it has been an encouraging week in that way. I had a day off on Thursday of last week, and the team was playing in Worcester, so I headed west to catch the game. It was a beautiful, extremely hot, summer evening and I arrived 30 min before "gates opened" but just walked right in as no one stopped me from doing so. I met up with Scott, who is the Rox's broadcaster, then watched the Rox warm up in right field and leaned against a railing on top of the concourse while each player then made his way from club house to dugout over the course of about 30 min. (Apparently no tunnel under the stadium- both teams entered from gates in the outfield). A lot of the guys were surprised to see me, I think... just out of context. I wasnt wearing a navy blue polo- I actually looked like a 24 year old woman (ok, maybe a 21 year old girl).

HOME RUN CLYDE WILLIAMS!!

...while I was speaking with a couple of the guys as they were doing their game time stretches, the manager, Chris Carminucci (who is also an owner) came over, gave me a wave, and asked if i could run up and tell the ticket office to stick a friend of his on the guest list. An intern I remain, even on off days. Anyhow, I jumped up to get it done, and when I came back one of the guys I had been talking with told me that Chris had sung my praises a bit while I was gone. Big smile. Big, big smile, because I hadnt really officially met Chris though it would be impossible for me to not know who he was of course. A few minutes later Chris came back over and told it to me himself- said that Tom has been "singing (my) praises" to him, said that he notices my work around the stadium, etc. I seized the moment and introduced myself. Great exchange!! And that was all before the start of the game... the rest of the night was relaxing and enjoyable. I miss watching baseball more than I realize. Everyone at work the next day had the same reaction- they thought I was crazy, and at the same time werent surprised that I had chosen to spend my off day with the team. Kind of a half-amused, half-mocking smirk playing around most people's lips. But I'm helpless here... I can think of nothing else that I could have done with my evening that would have left me feeling so content- certainly not sitting at home watching movies, and though I love Boston, even just going on one of my walks around the city wouldnt have measured up.

Dom's host dad, Mark Lincoln/Link, was at the game as he generally tends to be, and we sat together and took pictures. He's a pretty cool guy, a bit older than my parents and one of those people who is easy to converse with on and off for 3 hours. Grant was also there of course- he's the team's attendant- and so between Link and Grant I was treated to a hot dog, a water, and a Coors Light. Haha, none of which I initially wanted, for the record.  Wayne Lundgren got mauled... the end score was something like 9-1 and the first 5 runs against were all due to homeruns. Oh well, it happens. He's an Aussie, so at least he's got a killer accent. We've actually got two Aussies- our second baseman, Scott Wearne, is Australian too.

That's pretty much what I have to say about the game. The best parts were the experience of being at a ballgame, knowing the guys, and most of all spending time with Link and Grant.

Sunday was a busy one, as I had 5 birthday parties to manage. Got there at 8:30am to pull the tarp off the field, and then we were told we could do whatever until 11 when we would start officially. I worked on birthday stuff so that when chapel time came around at 3 (when the gates were scheduled to open) I could fellowship with everyone at chapel. Jean was on fire leading chapel, and there were about 7 of us there, so a pretty good showing of guys. The game went by as planned until about the 6th inning when a storm cell popped up on the radar. All interns reported to the tarp at the edge of the field incase we needed to cover the field, and though it rained, the umps didnt call for us. I spent the rest of the game out there and got to enjoy the tie that ran into the 11th inning and that was finally broken by Wearne's walkoff GRAND SLAM. Yeah, it was a pretty great night for baseball in Brockton.

As part of Sunday Family Fun Day we had autographs on the field and let fans run the bases after the game, so it was a good thing that we had started the game at 5pm (actually, one make up inning from a game that had been started weeks earlier was played starting at 4... weird, long day). After extra innings and a long autograph session, we shut it all down. I had been at home for Alex Burnham's wedding the day before, and I was starting to feel some of the happenings of that day by the time things had wound down, so when I finally got out to my car, and everyone else had left the intern parking area, I let some emotion out. Just sat in the hatchback of my car and let it go. Mike Smith (starting pitcher) had the misfortune of running across me on the way to his car (he's the only player who parks in the interns' area). It was one of those stereotypically awkward male-female moments, and when I remember it now I feel pity for him and none for myself. He was on his phone, and once I noticed that he was in my vicinity I turned away and hoped that our acquaintance status would allow for him to politely ignore me, continue his conversation, and leave. For his sake. (I didnt totally hate the idea of having someone to talk to at the moment.) This was about how things went... until he had stored his things in his car, at which point I heard him ask the person on the other end of his conversation if he could call them back. Here we go, I thought. Again, we were at acquaintance status, always cordial but superficial exchanges, so no practice for a situation like this. He asked if I was ok in a slightly frightened, very unspecific, but genuine enough way, and I replied in a similar manner, very vaguely, which I think left us both wanting to say or ask more while neither of us was really able to. He did have one card left to play in the end- he offered for me to join him and some of the others down the road for drinks. It was only 10:30, and I decided I'd stop in for a little while and smile and laugh a bit to end the night on a good note, then head out in time to get some sleep before waking up for a 9am start time.
I  was a little farther out of my comfort zone going out this time around, only sort of knowing any of the guys who were there. I did know Clyde and his wife Amanda, but i was soon quite engrossed in learning about some of the others who I had only mostly said hi to and smiled at under the stadium before and after games. Mike, Wayne, and Keith in particular were all very gracious in engaging a very tired and fast-fading me in conversation throughout the hours I was there. SHOOT. Before I could blink, it was midnight, and I was still in Brockton. I was in disbelief at how quickly time had gone by. Keith, who lives with Falu and Cuadrado and Freddy Flores, was quick to suggest that I stay at their house for the night. He had me at "We live about 5 minutes from the stadium". I'd been offered this very generally a few days earlier, as well, so I felt comfortable with the option. I was thankful that out of anyone, Keith was the one extending the invite, because it was an offer I could safely accept, knowing that Falu would be there. Falu, someone who's character I'm at least getting to know. Anyone else, and I would have politely (and regretfully) declined.

I drove us to the house, and a few of the guys stayed up playing guitar and talking out on the porch, but I went straight for the couch and was out soon thereafter. The last thing I consciously remember was hearing Clyde walking across the kitchen toward me explaining animatedly that, "Amanda and I were talking on the way over and we figured out, there's no reason for you to have to go back to Cambridge EVER. You can stay here, and you can always stay at our house...." I must have chuckled, and then fallen asleep.  Those two seem to have big hearts. What a nice drive to the ballpark the next morning...... I woke up "late" for me and got there right on time.

MIKE SMITH WITH 2 BIG BACK TO BACK K's TO END THE INNING!! OUT OF A JAM.

On Monday I got put in charge of the scoreboard during the game, which I love. I had a flawless night, and I fancy myself pretty good at running the scoreboard :) I ran home that night to get ready to come in for another early start time the next morning. We had a noontime game- Camp Day- and it was something of a blur, as it always is when we have tons of kids in the park. The one thing I remember about the game was that leadoff hitter Scott Wearne touched em all on one play in the first inning (there were some errors involved... but he made it safely to home plate). But we were all pretty excited for what was to come afterwards- the Staff vs Staff softball game! It was a lot of fun, but my arm was not in it to win it. Most of my offense was pretty weak even though I reached base 3 out of 5 times. I held down 1st base to minimize the usage of my arm but after an impulsive throw decided to sit for the last inning and a half. We won it in the end of course. I was discouraged that my shoulder and elbow were that bad. I feel like such a baby icing it... no one can know how acutely it hurts, but then again, it's my fault for playing catch every day. I wish it would just get better. But I feel it even when I'm picking up my backpack. I felt it today doing nothing out of the ordinary. I've read about it and it seems like Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation are the recommended self-treatments. Emphasis on the REST for me probably. I'm pretty stupid sometimes. Hey, I found a home plate shaped silly band in the Rox dugout, pretty cool huh? I left mine at my parents' house in Maine last weekend so now I have one again.

Wednesday was a scheduled day off for us interns, but Tom asked on Tues after the staff game who'd be willing to volunteer at a baseball camp that was having its last session on Wednesday morning and I thought it sounded like a good time. (HELLO Maggie... your arm.) I knew the guy running it and I didnt have anything else productive planned for the day so I said I'd do it. After softball and pizza on Tuesday I went to get some ice packs and ended up staying at the house in Brockton again, as I had to be at the park at 8:30am the next morning. Cool evening, tired evening. Cuadrado and Falu's families were there and there was a minimal amount of English being spoken. Cuadrado's wife and son actually live in the house too, and though his son doesnt speak English he would come right up to me and say stuff, and I'd say stuff right back at him, and he'd pose himself with his wiffle ball like he was ready to pitch it to me, and I'd put my hands out as a target and he'd hit them every time. I'm terrible with ages, but this little guy had to be around 2 years old. Great ball control. Typical little boy, had a ball in his hands the entire evening- beach ball, wiffle ball, basket ball. The All-Star game was on, mercifully, so I had a good reason to be down in the living room with everyone being "social" like I wanted to, though it was hard with the English-Spanish thing as well as with my level of exhaustion. Cuadrado's wife fed me, made this great penne with meat sauce dish that was so deliciously home-cooked that it just about made up for the quickly-put-together meals that I've had to throw together for myself over the past month plus. The pasta was eventually followed by a yellow ice pop(pineapple? something tropical but not quite identifiable), and then I called it quits and retreated to Keith's room- he wasnt there for the night and so had offered to let me stay there. I sat on Keith's bed, went through pictures that Megan had taken with my camera that day at the game, and watched as the NL proved to be victorious over the AL for the first time since the 1996 All Star Game. At least Jon Lester was incredible. And I saw Petey there in the dugout. I fell asleep chilly for once this summer, the AC unit overwhelming Brac's small room. It was blissful.

The baseball camp was easy enough- just 12 kids. They played a game on the field, took some hacks in the batting cage, practiced pitching. Dan McNamara, a pitching and base coach for the Rox, was leading everything, so the day was pretty laid back and informative. I believe that he was the first guy in a Rox uniform that I met... I was manning the front desk on my first or second day, it must have been, and he came into the office to fax something. He had a bit of trouble........ eventually introduced himself to me during that meeting as "Stupid" because he couldn't definitively figure out how to work the machine. I think it worked out in the end for him. My favorite part of the day was having the chance to walk through the Rox clubhouse. I've been in the visitors' clubhouse plenty of times, but never in our team's. I dont have a ton of experience with different clubhouses but this one seemed to be a pretty good space.

When all was said and done, Tom told me he didnt want to see me again till 3pm on Friday. I was glad he put it that way, because today proved to be a nice break.. me time.. and as it was I was going to stay to help with a clinic that was happening later that night (Wednesday night). Admittedly, that would have been a lot... a big gap of free time between the morning and evening clinics, and then the evening clinic running from 6-9pm. But I was in helpful mode, so I wanted to help. I would have gone in today, even- I didnt take the internship to get tons of time off, and I just had a few days off within the last week- I took it knowing that it would be a fast and furious action-packed summer. I wanted it to tire me out and push me to persevere out of love for what I was doing. Tom initially offered me time off through Monday because of my willingness to work the clinic on our day off. That's just not tasteful to me.. the schedule over the past month and a half has made it so that my community is at Campanelli Stadium. What would I do with that mini vacation? I've got momentum NOW. No time to risk losing that... it's 3 months that I've got to make an impression and to make a move towards whatever comes next. Month 1... making initial connections. Month 2... solidifying these relationships and networking. Month 3... start actively searching around for employment so that when my internship is over at the start or middle of September I've hopefully got something to move into. But when it came down to it, I remembered that today was the start of our big push on sales efforts. So........... it's probably OK that I have today and part of tomorrow off. :)


Tonight, Mike Smith is on the mound. I'm listening to the broadcast, and I've been blogging this over the course of 2 hours. Probably time to shut it down, get some water, get ready to sleep. Tomorrow I need paper towels and I need to go to the bank. Then work at 3 which is kind of silly. Maybe I'll call Tom about that... that would mean driving a little less than hour each way to be at the stadium for 2 hours. Well.. I hope that this has been one of those interesting insider entries. My minor league ball experiences. This might be the first time in my life where I am really enjoying hanging out with people who I'm very different from. Most of them dont try to change the things that make me "me", and I dont have to worry about losing myself in order to keep pace with them or risk being left out altogether.
I miss McCoy Stadium. And I almost went to the Sox game tonight. "If only it wouldnt go so late"... and writing this now is the first that I'm remembering that I dont have to be in until the afternoon tomorrow. Agh. Oh well.

Back at it tomorrow!